I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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