going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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