I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
