Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
