A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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