Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
