sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
