He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Can I color on your dick again?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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