In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
