i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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