Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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