ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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