On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
