That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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