that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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