walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
