idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
