dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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