The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
