I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
