I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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