The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
