That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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