There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
