I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
