So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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