I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
