So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
