You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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