You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
