If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
