you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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