I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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