She said her name was "party"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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