you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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