I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
