I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
