Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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