my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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