ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
