I hate all girls vehemently.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize