i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
