god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
