If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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