Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
