Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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