You really coming over, don't trick.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Less talking, more tequila
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
