I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
