he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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