I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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