She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
50% drunk capacity currently
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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