not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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