Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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