But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
