I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize