Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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