i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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