i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I enjoy the company of your penis
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
