Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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