Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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