Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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