Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
