fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
